Distortion
We live in a world that constantly bombards us with images and ideas about the way we should look, think, or feel about ourselves. The obvious attack in these areas comes from maintaining a certain image that’s centered around our looks. On the other hand, there are the not-so-subtle struggles we may face with our desires to be better with a certain skill or talent. Maybe even a desire we have to want to achieve something we just aren’t wired to achieve. At the end of the day, all of this boils down to the thought process that drives us to think, “I’m not good enough.” These are real struggles that we all face to some degree.
Whether it’s keeping up with the current trends and styles or trying to get our bodies to look a certain way, our image and appearance are always under attack. It’s not just teenagers who battle with these attacks either. If we’re honest, these are struggles some of us wrestle with well into our adult years. We may even move on from struggles with our appearance but may find ourselves overwhelmed with the feelings of not being able to meet expectations. Regardless of where you are, there are steps we need to take to move from distorted comparisons to the truth of who we are in Christ. If you’ll hang out with me for a little bit now, I’d like to share how God’s worked in my life in these areas.
My Struggle
Growing up, I was never the biggest, smartest, fastest, strongest, or most athletic person. As a matter of fact, if you looked back at my school photos as a kid, I was probably one of the shortest kids in my class. Even going into high school I remember feeling small compared to everyone else. Actually, one of the first times I went to my high school, the wrestling coach saw me in the office and asked if I wanted to join the wrestling team. He knew nothing about me, but his reasoning (not intentionally) hit me in the worst way possible. You probably hardly even have to wrestle at your size to make it far. It was easy to see that at 5’1” and maybe 95 pounds in wet clothes, he was probably right. There wouldn’t be many people my size and that was exactly why I wouldn’t have been caught dead in a wrestling singlet, even if it seemed fun.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is that even into my twenties, thirties, and now my forties, there are times when I struggle to see myself in a mirror and think I still look like that. It’s probably the biggest reason that I pushed myself in my twenties to workout as much as I did. I looked at bodybuilders, athletes, and movie stars and strived to push myself to achieve something I thought would make me feel better, but the reality was, that wouldn’t make me happy. While I may have been healthier, the motivation wasn’t centered properly. I was more motivated to change what I didn’t like, instead of loving who God made me to be and wanting to take care of the body He gave me. Maybe you can relate to feeling this way. Maybe not in the same way, but in another area of your life. As we examine our own lives and struggles, we’re going to look at a lie we struggle with versus the truth God’s Word tells us.
Lies
Let me start by saying, that I’m not trying to say everyone feels all of these things, simply that these are lies people struggle with that I feel we often tie to our value or self-worth. These are not all-inclusive and there very well may be something I miss. If I do, I want you to think about what that idea or lie is that you wrestle with and I want you to write it out. If yours is listed here, then write it out as well. Don’t feel beat up if there is more than one thing. This is about being honest with our struggles.
I’m too small.
I’m too skinny.
I’m too tall.
I’m too big.
No one likes me.
I’m not good enough.
I’m unlovable.
I’m ugly.
I’m not smart.
I’m weak.
I’m not funny.
I don’t have any talents.
I’m too scared.
I’m uncoordinated.
I’m not creative.
I’m afraid of failing.
I let people down.
I’m broken.
I’m not equipped.
I have nothing to offer.
I’m nothing.
Truth
Now that you’ve brought the lie(s) to light, I want you to find the truth listed below and write it out as well. I’ll also say this, if you’re reading this blog and you’ve never put your faith in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, this is the truth you need to hear. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). This is truth. God made the ultimate sacrifice for us. He gave up His only Son so that we could be back in a relationship with Him. Not because we’re perfect, rather as Romans 5:8 reminds us, “... God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That in the midst of our sin, He meets us. He extends His love to us. As a free gift that we did not earn or deserve so that we cannot boast. And we are forgiven (Ephesians 2:8-9). If this is something you’re wrestling with, please reach out. This truth will change your life!
Here’s more.
You’re loved (1 John 3:16).
You’re God’s workmanship, created for good works (Ephesians 2:10).
You're created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).
You’re fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
God, the Creator of the universe thought of you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).
God’s thoughts for you outnumber the grains of sand (Psalm 139:17-18).
You’re not alone. God rejoices over you with gladness and singing. (Zephaniah 3:17).
We have hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
We’re forgiven (Ephesians 1:7).
We’re redeemed (Colossians 1:14).
We can live boldly (2 Timothy 1:6-7).
We have peace in the midst of anxiousness (Philippians 4:6-7).
Age is Just a Number
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve always struggled with my self-image. It wasn’t until I began to not just know the truths of Scripture, but I began to believe them. I wrote them down over and over again until I had them memorized in my head, and hidden in my heart. But I needed to do more. I began setting reminders up of those truths. I put a golf ball in my car (this is a whole other story we don’t have time for) to remind me that God never loses sight of me no matter how small I feel. I wrote verses on my bathroom mirror in my apartment. And when I married Amanda, she had Philippians 4:6-7 engraved on the inside of my wedding ring. Even today, at 40 years old, I have to be careful to not compare myself to others. To what they have and how they look. I have to remember that God is working and moving and has plans bigger than I can see or understand. I wear a bracelet almost every day with that. At the end of the day, it’s about being intentional.
One More Reminder
Wrestling with our weaknesses and concerns about ourselves is never fun. It’s not something that ever just goes away, but the reason I asked you to write down the lies versus the truths is that we have to remind ourselves of these things every day. Even Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament that we have in our Bibles, struggled. In 2 Corinthians 12 he writes about asking God to remove the “thorn” from his side on three occasions and this was the answer, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Here’s the reality—we may not like everything about ourselves, but when we stop comparing ourselves to the world and the “Insta” lives of those we see online, we’ll recognize the truth of who we are in Christ. If you find yourself wrestling with these things, know you’re not alone. All you have to do is reach out.
