It’s official! The holidays are upon us. Let the days of merriment commence. From the Christmas music to the cookie baking ... and the festivals ... and the shopping ... and the light shows … and the parties … and the perfect family photos to go on those Christmas cards, along with the long lines to get the snapshot with Santa … Phew! The list goes on, but I am currently exhausted with the one that already exists.
For the average family, Christmas can be a busy time with the calendar looking more and more chaotic. However, for families with children with exceptional needs, the list can seem all but impossible. You see for those families, it is not only the list of to-dos, but the extra worries rolling around in the back of their heads that could accompany each of those events. Can my kiddo handle the mass amount of people at the outdoor tree lighting ceremony? Will the Christmas lights be over-stimulating? Will the loud music at the party lead to a full-on meltdown due to being completely dysregulated? How can I possibly get the perfect family photo for the yearly Christmas card when my child struggles looking directly at the camera and smiling? Are my child’s sensory needs or aversions going to be impacted by every family member wanting to touch or hug them? As a member of this select group of families, I can tell you with all assurance that every one of those thoughts has gone through my head at one point or another. However, through our autism journey of the last four years, three words keep coming to my mind, especially at the height of this holiday season. Let it go.
The truth is that we have added so much pressure on ourselves that was never intended for us. Our society has taken the bigger, better, more mentality and applied that to every holiday, including Christmas. Why have we allowed this to become our expectation? The truth is the Christmas story is simplistic in nature. I challenge you to read Luke 2:1-20. These verses contain the heart of Christmas and the reason for celebration. You will not find an attached list within this passage of Scripture. Everything we have added to our plates that causes stress and chaos has been of our own volition. Would you allow yourself to simplify this year and find the joy that is intended as we celebrate the birth of Christ?
To the sweet families that are in the same boat as mine, let me be the one to remind you, it is okay to skip the big light show and opt for a cozy night in. Watching The Grinch in your pajamas, if that is what your child needs, can lead to some of the sweetest memories you will ever create. Let go of the idea of that perfectly posed Christmas card. Choose the candid photo that captures your child just as they are, being who God created them to be. Let your child sing, dance, and move as needed in a crowd even if it means you get more looks than what you are comfortable with. The point is this. Get rid of the expectation of whatever you believe this season should look like, and embrace the beauty of what is!
The Bible tells us in Psalm 139:13-14, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God created our children and loves them more than we ever could! He understands their needs and asks us as parents to do the same, regardless of how that changes our plans or impacts our holiday schedule. If we need to be in the slower lane, letting others pass us as we protect and choose differently for our kiddos with unique needs, let that be okay.
The joy of Christmas is available to all of us, no matter the design of our families. My prayer is that you are able to grab hold of joy this season and that it would overflow, simply by remembering and celebrating the birth of Jesus. As for everything else … Could it be time to joyfully let it go?