Dear Lord,
Our ministry has asked me to write about grief as we approach the holidays. Help me, please…
Lord, do I tell them about the merciful numbness You give our bodies when we are in shock? Do I describe the heavy darkness of those early days and months?
Do I share how I couldn't even cry out to You—You, who has been my safest friend? Do I try to express how I looked and looked for You and could not see You or feel You?
Do I explain how You showed Your love to me for years, taught me of Your mercy and Your goodness, as my love for You and faith in You grew, but the darkness, the gravity of the sadness, didn't match what You taught me?
Do I write about how it seemed like You broke Your promises, or how it seemed You were not who I thought You were?
Do I share my thoughts of how in the world I could face life without one of my children, my James, whom I love and cared for, prayed for, and had hopes for a long, blessed life?
Or how even the thought of tomorrow was too much? Do I tell how You whispered, in my spirit, to just…get…through...the...next...hour?
Do I talk about the friends, neighbors, strangers who brought food and gifts, sent texts and cards for months, and still I wondered where you were? How Your people fed my family when I could not? How one day through the heavy darkness, I saw a pinprick of light when I realized it was You that sent these friends to bring us food, to care for us, and to show us your love and concern for us? I could not feel You, but I could see You in those who tended to our family.
Do I tell of the Scripture verses you brought to my mind? How You urged me to not give in to the lies the enemy was pressing upon me?
How You remind me that You would never leave me or forsake me? Ever (Deuteronomy 31:8). That You never left James, You were always with him. You did not leave him alone. Ever.
Or how You told me to think of James with the truth of Your holy words—that James loves where he lives with You, where Your glory is with him (Psalm 26:8). This soothed my heart.
Should I describe how, even, when the heaviness, the sadness, and despair were there, You dispelled the darkness with the truth of Your beautiful words?
And when I pleaded that the sacrifice was too much, You reminded me that You are familiar with sacrifice.
You, too, had a son that died.
You willingly allowed sinful people to kill Your son, Jesus, a cruel death, for one reason.
Love.
You loved us so much, so much, that You willingly sacrificed Your own son to take on a punishment that we all deserve, so that we could be reconciled with You, so that we could have salvation (John 3:16). How could You love us that much?
Because of that sacrifice, I have hope. I know I will see my James again. I may not understand why You have allowed such suffering in our family, but I know You are The Redeemer. You redeem the souls of sinners. You redeem what sin steals. You redeem death. You redeem what is stolen in this life—our dreams, our plans, our children—because it is who You are.
Lord, how do I describe how the bereaved can feel during the holidays? That there is a heaviness for the one who is missing? We see all the families with all their children and we feel alone. How, still, I can’t bring out the Christmas decorations because they are full of memories of the time “before”?
But You, the source of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3), send us people who remember our trial, months, even years, later. Their gifts, food, texts, and cards in memory of James comfort us during the holidays and remind us that You don’t stop comforting us, encouraging us, and growing us. They are an extension of Your love. Lord, bless these obedient servants.
You are so good, so gracious. How, Lord, do I even put to words how You have held me up with Your righteous right hand through this grief? How You have sustained me, kept me going, and kept me focused on You for joy?
How You still encourage me and give me daily hope for a future that I cannot see (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)?
How do I explain that You are so much bigger than my suffering, that Your love outweighs the pain, even if it doesn’t “feel” like it? Do I tell of how You promise to use all things for good for those that love You—even tragedy (Romans 8:28)?
How it is true that we do grieve differently than those who don't believe in You (1 Thessalonians 4:13)? We grieve, of course, heavily, but the difference is that You give us hope. I don't know exactly what I am hoping for, but I know one day I will see my hope fulfilled. In the meantime, I will direct my heart and mind towards You.
Do I share that You are still trustworthy, You are still kind, You still see my every thought, You still carry me, and You are still tenderly holding all the broken pieces? That You love each of Your people beyond what we can imagine?
How do I say that You are still my safest place, even if the worst happens? You, Lord, are my Rock, the One I seek each morning.
You say, “Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
You can and You will.
Bay Life Resources
GriefShare
Thursdays, now - December 7, 2023
7pm – 8:30pm
Led by Mark Sentovich and Tricia Mira
Workbook: $20
It may be hard for you right now to feel optimistic about the future. If you have lost a spouse, child, family member, or friend, you've probably found there are not many people who understand the deep hurt you feel. This can be a confusing time when you feel isolated and have many questions about things you've never faced before. Our GriefShare group meets weekly to help you face these challenges and move towards rebuilding your life. Each GriefShare session has 3 distinct elements: watching a video session which contains experts in grief and also individuals who have experienced loss; a brief group discussion time related to the video topic; and use of your participant guidebook during the session and throughout the week (brief studies for personal reflection). You do not need to walk alone on your journey from mourning to joy. We hope you will join us. Register here.
Care + Counseling Center
Welcome to the Bay Life Care + Counseling Center, where our experienced and caring counselors are dedicated to helping you navigate the challenges of life and achieve overall wellness. Whether you're seeking support for pre-marital or marital counseling, or looking to work through short or long-term struggles, our team is here to help. We offer a range of counseling services, including virtual and in-person appointments, diet and healthy eating guidance, breakthrough groups, and more. Let us help you take control of your life and create a path to a happier, healthier future. Visit our webpage for more information.