Finding Joy
Throughout our lives, we walk through different seasons. In some seasons we may find that things seem easier and we’re coasting through life without much effort. Other seasons we may feel like we’re trudging along through the muck, and no matter what happens we just can’t seem to catch a break. Have you noticed that in those seasons of ease, joy can be found around every corner? Happiness bubbles at the surface, and even when something difficult does come up, we’re able to quickly figure it out and get back on track because we’re staying positive. On the flip side, those difficult seasons become total killjoys and we find ways to turn positive things into negative ones simply because our outlook on life isn’t where it should be. One thing I’ve seen in my own life is that when I get off track, I need regular reminders of God’s grace in the midst of the struggles to stay focused. If it’s okay, I’d like to share some personal struggles with this over the last few years.
Losing Focus
Those of you who know me and my family (my wife Amanda, and our children Cohen and Emma) know that these past few years have been some of the hardest seasons. On September 1, 2017, Amanda and I welcomed our beautiful daughter Emma into the world. By the time she was over a year old, her developmental delays had become much more evident. No speech, poor eye contact, socially distancing herself from others, and not playing with toys the way they were intended were major red flags for us. Regardless of what we tried to do, we couldn’t get her to do things the same way as “normal” kids. Then, on February 28, 2020, Emma was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. While we weren’t surprised, we walked away feeling like we had more questions than answers.
In that moment, I felt like I had lost a little bit of my joy. Instead of recognizing the amazing, healthy, beautiful, and intelligent little girl in front of me, I began to let the worries, doubts, and fears come crashing in. Over the next few years, I tried my best to put on a good face all the time, but if I’m going to be honest, deep down inside there were moments when I struggled immensely. As a parent who had been praying every day for the past four years, I wanted nothing more than to hear my child talk. There were moments when I truly wondered if it would ever happen.
Constant Reminders
How did I lose my joy so quickly? Why did I let it slip away? How do I get focused back on it? These were questions I’ve had to ask myself over the years on a regular basis and, fortunately, the answer was right on my hand. On the inside of my wedding ring, Amanda had Philippians 4:6-7 inscribed on it. This was my reminder. In the midst of all circumstances, good or bad, to be thankful as I go before God in prayer. Then I get to see the promise, that His peace which surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. That’s the part we probably know and have read a lot, but how many times have you read the verses before and after that? If you haven’t, stop, grab your Bible, or go online, and read Philippians 4:4-9. When you’re done, I want you to come back and continue reading.
Think about this—Paul points us to the importance of rejoicing twice in the first verse. So, clearly finding reasons to rejoice matters! In verse six Paul talks about giving thanks in all circumstances, and if we’re honest, rejoicing in all circumstances can be really difficult. Paul understands the importance of this when he says it, because as he penned this letter to the church in Philippi, he wrote from a jail cell. He could have easily complained or grumbled about being stuck in jail, or he could have focused on the joy in life and continued to encourage the churches and people he had poured into. Obviously, he chose the latter.
Jumping ahead again to the second part of this section, Paul tells us how we can rejoice and be thankful in the middle of difficulties. He explains the best way is to think about things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and worthy of praise. Interestingly, these are all characteristics of Christ and his love for us. Not only that, but they are characteristics of Christ that we should strive to live out and share with others on a daily basis. He even says as much in verse nine.
Staying on Track
Rejoicing in the difficult situations in life may not be easy, but it’s necessary for us to find and hold onto our joy. Returning to the situation with Emma, the best way I’ve been able to do this is by looking at life with the joy that she finds in it instead of the joy I want her to have in it. Emma truly is the PERFECT little girl that God has created her to be. She is filled with more joy than anyone I know. Her laughter is contagious to anyone who hears it. When she decides to love on us in her ways, there is nothing more precious. And as we’ve continued to pray, day after day, God has continued to be faithful as she grows into an incredible little girl!
You see, finding our joy isn’t about getting what we want, it’s about being thankful for what God has given us. We’re blessed so many times every day, it’s up to us though to see it, rejoice, be thankful, and lay our concerns at His feet. While I’m not sure what your circumstances are or how difficult things may be right now, I do know that we all have opportunities to find joy on a daily basis, hold onto it, and share it with others. I hope and pray that regardless of what’s going on, you’re able to find His joy in your life each day.
Grace
While we may understand that simply waking up each day is a blessing in and of itself, there are times when God decides to rain down even more blessings. I’d be remiss if I didn’t share this part with you as well. Emma is now six years old and we have prayed daily that God would allow her to speak and let us hear the voice we believed He had given her. Well, it finally started happening!!! This past summer Emma started talking. Not just repeating words that had no meaning, but asking for things, and trying her best to tie the letters and sounds together. I finally heard my daughter say “dada” and I couldn’t have been more grateful. That said, whether He allowed this to happen or not, my joy isn’t found in the answer, it’s found in His sufficient grace.
Little Extra
If you’re struggling to find joy, here’s a little something you can do. Take a blank piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side write the words, “Blessings/Thankful” and on the right side the words, “Prayers/Worries”. Underneath that fill in all the things you’re thankful for and that you’re blessed with, and on the other side all the things you’re worried about and praying for. You can write anything you want in the blessings/thankful section and when you’re done, spend some time in prayer and thank God for all of those things. Keep that paper out and when you’re having a tough day, re-read all the ways God’s blessed you, and pray for the things you’re struggling with. The more you do this, the easier it is to find our joy and trust in Him as we walk through our concerns.
If you’re struggling in this way and find yourself overly depressed, you can call the Bay Life Counseling Center at 813.319.0183 and schedule an appointment with one of our counselors or coaches who can help you walk through your personal circumstances.
